This is the complete transcript for "Donkey's Caroling Christmas-tacular" (promoted as "Donkey's Christmas Shrek-tacular")
Transcript[]
"The Most Wonderful Time of the Year"[]
(The screen reveals the outside of the Happy Apple as "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" plays in the background. Also, the title of the short fades in, then fades out as the screen to inside the Happy Apple where Donkey inspects the preparations.)
Chorus: ♪Jing-a-ling. Jing-a-ling.♪
Donkey: Okay, now. The parfaits go on that table, and the bog nog goes over there. And remember. Make sure the piles of cookies are arranged in fun holiday shapes.
(Donkey turns to Shrek, who is on a step ladder, helping Fergus put the star on top of the Christmas tree.)
Oh, man, Shrek! I just love this. Don't you just love this?
Shrek: (Looks down) Sure, Donkey.
Donkey: This is gonna be the best Christmas party ever. Because this year, everybody's gonna sing their favorite Christmas carol. I hear even the Shrek family is gonna sing.
Shrek: Oh yeah.
Donkey: YAY! Yee-haw! (Runs off)
Shrek (to Fiona): No more bog nog for him.
(Fiona giggles, and we cut to Donkey breaking out into song.)
Donkey: ♪It's my most favorite time of the year!♪
Chorus: ♪Jing-a-ling. Jing-a-ling.♪
Donkey: ♪With the parties and carols, and cider in barrels for everyone here!♪
(We cut to Donkey approaching Rumpelstiltskin in his cage)
Donkey: Hey, Shrek, check it out. I found a real Christmas elf out in the garbage.
Rumpelstiltskin (Caged): I'm not an elf! I'm Rumpelstiltskin! Now let me out of this cage!
Donkey: Why? So you can run away again? I don't think so. (Runs up to Wolf looking at a Santa statue) Hey, Wolf, do you like it? It's a mega-sized Santa replica made from a new magic called (Widens his eyes) "plastic".
Big Bad Wolf: Yeah, it's freaking me out.
Donkey: (Runs up to the Three Little Pigs) Hey, Pigs, you gotta try Dragon's spicy reindeer apple balls.
Dieter Pig: Oh, no tank [thank] you. Ve [We] are on a diet.
Heimlich Pig: Ve [We] are chubby buddies. (Rubs his belly)
Horst Pig: Ve're [We're] getting ready for...
(Camera zooms out, revealing the Three Little Pigs in bathing suits)
All Three Little Pigs: Swimsuit Weather! (Run off)
Gingy: Move it along, pigs! There's nothing to eat here! (To the plate of gingerbread cookies) You guys, this is not a place to take a nap. Wake up! Wake up!
Donkey: ♪It's the warm fluffiest season of all. (Sits on the swingset onstage)♪
Chorus: ♪Jing-a-ling. Jing-a-ling.♪
Donkey (While swinging): ♪Where the fun never ends, and my closest of friends are packed here in the hall.♪
(We cut to Cookie, Brogan, and Gretchen in the kitchen.)
Brogan: ♪I'll be shocked if this don't end in a brawl.♪
(Cookie and Gretchen laugh beside Brogan)
Donkey: Attention, attention, attention, everybody. I wanna thank all of you for coming out to my Holiday Extravaganza Caroling Christmas-tacular. I hope you all have been brushing up on your singing, more than Gretchen brushes her teeth.
Gretchen (Mouth full, with her teeth showing): Take that and eat it.
Donkey: ♪(Jumps off the stage and kicks an apple with his back hooves) There'll be apples for bobbing...♪
Three Blind Mice: And fruitcake!
Big Bad Wolf: And sobbing.
Fiona (under the mistletoe with Shrek): ♪And games filled with Holiday fun. (She and Shrek kiss)♪
Heimlich Pig: ♪(Turns around holding a giant candy cane) There'll be candy...♪
Dieter Pig: ♪(Turns around holding a present) Und [And] presents...♪
Horst Pig: ♪(Turns around holding a turkey leg) Roast turkey und [and] pheasants...♪
Donkey: ♪And stocking for everyone!♪
♪It's my most favorite time of the year!♪
(Donkey licks the pink frosting top of a white cake)
Chorus: ♪Jing-a-ling. Jing-a-ling.♪
Donkey: ♪And you don't wanna leave, 'cause if you all believe Santa soon will be here! Christmas is my favorite-est time...♪
Gingy: Where did you learn how to rhyme?
(Tempo of the music slows down a tad)
Donkey: ♪Christmas is my favorite time... of the year!♪♪
(On the final note, the Dronkeys breath fire at the screen. Then the screen fades from white to reveal Donkey.)
Donkey: Woo! Man, that felt good. Now, who's gonna sing next? Anybody? Anybody? Okay, well then I'll sing another.
♪Ah-heeeee...!♪
(Brogan's hand appears onscreen closing Donkey's mouth)
"Jingle Bells"[]
(To the music, three spotlights shine onto each ogre. One for Brogan, Cookie, and Gretchen.)
Brogan, Cookie, and Gretchen: ♪Stirring a big pot.♪
(A cauldron lands in front of Cookie)
Cookie: ♪Full of goodies for our snacks.♪
(The three ogres throw ingredients inside the cauldron)
Gretchen: ♪Fungus and tree rot.♪
Brogan: (Cookie pulls out a platter of stinkbugs) Stink bugs by the stack!
Gretchen: ♪Bah-dom bom-bom.♪
Brogan, Cookie, and Gretchen: ♪How we like to eat,♪
(We see the long table loaded with worm burgers, a plate of grubs, slugs, and snails, and a plate of slob Gretchen is eating.)
♪Worms, and grubs, and slop. It brings such joy and is a treat with pickled skunk on top.♪
Shrek and Fiona: ♪So, bug cocoon. Lick the spoon. Try our cricket slurp.♪
(Fiona feeds Felicia a spoon of cricket slurp)
♪(Slides a rat pie to Farkle and Fergus) I know I just love rat pie.♪
Fergus: ♪It always make me burp!♪
(A rat pops up from inside the pie belching)
Brogan, Cookie, and Gretchen: ♪Serve a toad, a-la-mode.♪
Shrek, Fiona, Brogan, Cookie, and Gretchen: ♪Roadkill tastes so fine.♪
♪Pigeon wings and spider strings, it's the perfect way to dine!♪♪
[]
(Snowflakes fall, transitioning to Puss walking onto the stage.)
Puss in Boots: Back in my village, the holiday season was all about the Turrón. Dancing the flamenco, and the bittersweet serenade of this song.
(We see Puss's hands playing the castanets)
Puss in Boots: ♪Fleas... (Tosses away the castanets and the music starts) Navidad!♪
(Behind Puss, paintings of fleas on wooden cutouts dangle from the ceiling. Then the Three Little Pigs walk on stage holding flea signs.)
Puss in Boots: ♪Fleas Navidad!♪
Puss in Boots (While scratching himself): ♪I've got Fleas Navidad! My coat is itching and my eyes go (Shows his sad eyes) sad!♪
(To the guitar strums, each pig swoons and fawns at the sight of Puss' big eyes.)
Puss in Boots: ♪I want a cleansing flea dip for Christmas.♪
♪A fine leather flea collar for Christmas.♪
Puss in Boots (While scratching himself): ♪A nice shampoo and fluffing for Christmas, (Jumps on top of a tower of crates) to make the itching stop!♪♪
Cha-cha-cha!
(Curtains close with a giant banner saying "FLEAS NA-VI-DAD". The crowd of ogres applaud, then we cut to Pinocchio and Gingy, who is holding a toothpick with an olive on one end.)
Pinocchio: Yay! (Claps his hands) Ha ha ha! (Turns to the plate of gingerbread cookies) Ooh! Don't mind if I do.
Gingy: Not on my watch! (Pricks Pinocchio's hand with his toothpick)
Pinocchio: Ow! Hey! They're just cookies. It's not like they're real.
Gingy: What do you know about being real?
Pinocchio (Sadly): Nothing.
Gingy: All right, everyone! Let's wrap it up!
"Jingle Bell Rock"[]
(A cardboard painting of Donkey's Santa outfit zooms in, then zooms out of the screen "Batman"-styled. Then the guitar riff cues up the final song.)
All: ♪Fairytale, very tale, merry tale fun. Happily after, and happily done.♪
(The Three Blind Mice lift three cookies arranged as a snowman and toss each cookie onto each plate)
Donkey: ♪Snowman, you know, man, and Donkey, that's me!♪
(Camera flies over to Pinocchio dancing on top of a table)
Pinocchio: ♪And a puppet boy made of teak!♪
(Camera flies over to Gingy pushing the plate full of Christmas cookies)
Gingy: ♪Abracadabra and cookity do.♪
(We cut to the ogres surrounded by raining popcorn)
Shrek and Fiona: ♪Home by midnight, 'cause Santa is due.♪
Three Blind Mice: ♪Cheeses that pleases and stink really bad.♪
Donkey, Pinocchio, and the Three Blind Mice: ♪That makes Christmas glad!♪
Donkey, Puss, and the Three Little Pigs: ♪Our confetti, ja [yah], with ponsettia, as we all trim the tree.♪
(Puss throws a cake up in the air, then slices it into pieces with his sword. Each piece lands on the plates behind him.)
Puss in Boots (While slicing): ♪Pussycat time, Boots and hat time.♪
Rumpelstiltskin (Caged): And a stocking full of coal for me.
All Three Little Pigs: ♪Higgidy Piggidy.♪
Shrek: Ogre roar, now!
(Farkle roars right on cue)
Three Blind Mice (Riding a chandelier): ♪Shake the rafters loud.♪
Big Bad Wolf: ♪Huffin' and a-puffin' in a granny's frock.♪
All: ♪That's the fairytale, that's the merry tale, that's the fairytale rock!♪♪
Puss: Ha!
(Gingy appears riding a toy train towards the screen until he's out of the shot)
Gingy: Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga, choo-choo! Come on, everyone! I'm busting you out! No one's gonna eat you this year!
(We cut to a black screen with green subtitles saying "MERRY CHRISTMAS!". In the background, snowflakes are shown falling.)
All (Off-screen): Merry Christmas!
Donkey (Off-screen): And thanks for making my caroling party Christmas-tacular!
THE END