Since @WilsonHydetheThird has this story listed on one of his blogs, I thought I would try to come up with my own version of how it went down in Shrek. Anyway, here goes:

Once upon a time, on a Friday in the Kingdom of Scotland, three wicked Fairy Godmothers (called the Weird Sisters) were ending their meeting. One of them asked the other 2 whether they should meet “in thunder, lightning or in rain.” Another one said to meet “when the battle’s lost and won.” The Third said to meet with a soldier named Lord Macbeth.

Later, Lord Macbeth, Lord of Glamis, had played his part in the battle against the Normandys and was walking home with his best friend, Banquo, when they met up with the fairy godmothers, who told him he would be Lord of Cawdor, then King of Scotland, then have an ogre daughter. When Banquo asked HIS fortune, they told him HE won’t be King, but his descendants will be. Later, the present King, Duncan, promoted Macbeth to Lord of Cawdor and his son Malcolm to being Prince of Cumberland (meaning he will be the next King). Macbeth started to panic and immediately started thinking about killing Duncan and not having any children.

When his wife, Lady Julie Macbeth (nee. Gruoch), heard the news, she persuaded her husband to kill Duncan and succeeded by verbally attacking his manhood. That night, Lady Macbeth played the role of the hostess and took Duncan by the hand to his room, only stopping to talk to a portrait of a previous Lady of Glamis called Eve Fricker. When Macbeth finally killed Duncan, he was wracked with guilt, leaving his wife to pin the blame on the servants, which also succeeded. Duncan’s sons fled to their respective lands, leaving the crown to Macbeth. Banquo became suspicious of how Macbeth won the throne, but Macbeth invited him to his kingly feast. However, he soon plotted Banquo’s murder, with 3 murderers. Before the feast, Lady Macbeth asks him of his future, but he refuses to tell. When they had the feast, Banquo’s Ghost came, which sends Macbeth to hysterics, which causes his wife to dismiss everyone. The Macbeths were so paranoid that they had sex with one another without thinking straight, from which they produced the ogre child, thus completing the 3rd prophecy. They named their daughter Finola before locking her in a tower and telling their subjects that she was so beautiful she was kidnapped.

Macbeth went back to the fairies, who had 3 apparitions tell him that no man born of woman can harm him. On the outskirts of the Kingdom, Macduff and his fellow soldiers plot to overthrow Macbeth and give the throne to Malcolm, the rightful heir. Lady Macbeth was so mad with guilt she killed herself. Soon afterward, a battle took place, which ended with Macbeth dead and Malcolm reinstated as the heir. He made all of the Lords Earls.

Meanwhile, Finola was still stuck in her tower, but escaped and went to a sister of the Weird Sisters, called Bib Fortuna, who gave her a Beauty potion, which turned her beautiful by day, a curse that would befall another princess, but that’s another story. Finola went back to the tower.

To Be Continued......

P.S. The idea of the Macbeths having an ogre child and locking her away in a tower came from a false claim on Princess Fiona’s Wikipedia page that Fiona’s Prologue was of her being born to the rulers of Scotland. Also, I gave Lady Macbeth the first name of my little sister because she’s been to Scotland before. @WilsonHydetyeThird, I hope you liked this.

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