Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Poulton (not to be confused with the British town of the same name), there was a Princess named Yasmine Bearki. Yasmine wasn’t your stereotypical princess. She was bored with the Princess life and her parents, the King and Queen, wanted her to marry Prince Manfred of the Ice Age Kingdom. Soon it got so u bearable that Yasmine left. She accidentally bumped into a dwarf with a grumpy face, but when they stared eye to eye, they both smiled at one another. They were in love. Yasmine took the dwarf, who was appropriately named Grumpy, to her parents.

“Yasmine!” said the King, “How could you think we would let you marry a commoner? Such people are inferior!

“That’s not true, Daddy!” said Yasmine, “I WILL marry Grumpy and you can’t stop me!”

“Fine,” said the King, “But you will be didinherited from your title.”

“OK,” said Yasmine, “I don’t really like being a Princess anyway.”

So Yasmine and Grumpy got married and Yasmine took on the surname Farquaad, but the King and Queen didn’t come, though that was alright with Yasmine. The couple then met with Grumpy’s brothers, the dwarfs out of Snow White and they were surprised at Grumpy’s choice for a wife. They then moved into a cottage next door to the dwarfs.

After the 3rd night, Yasmine was struggling to sleep, because the mattress was lumpy, so Grumpy put 25 mattresses on top of one another. A few years later, they had a son, who they named Maximus. When Maximus turned 6, Yasmine fell off the mattresses and died. Grumpy became grumpier and due to that, banished Maximus to the basement, where he would do things like play games on the Magic Mirror that Grumpy had taken from the Evil Queen of another kingdom.

When Farquaad turned 28, Grumpy abandoned him in the woods, leaving Farquaad to look for another place to live, until he came across Duloc, a Lordship ruled by Lord Tony Lewis Christie-MacLeod. Farquaad asked him if he could be his successor, which Tony agreed to. And that is what happened. Maximus turned Duloc into a dictatorship, eventually banishing all the fairytale creatures until an ogre came to complain about the ones sent to his swamp. Maximus agreed to this, if the ogre could rescue Princess Fiona Pendragon for him. The ogre succeeded and Maximus himself brought her back to Duloc after a misunderstanding between her and the ogre.

When they were about to kiss, the ogre burst in and so did the fairytale freaks. The freaks reveal Grumpy to be Maximus’s father and then everyone realised the hypocrite Maximus is. At that moment, the sun set and Fiona turned into an ogre. Maximus then tried to have the ogre killed and Fiona put back in her tower, but then the dragon burst in and gobbled Maximus up, burping out his crown.

When Maximus did die, he became a ghost and met his mother, Yasmine, now called the Ghost Princess. He tried to let her in on a plan to kill Fiona so he could be King of the underworld and she could be Queen Mother of the underworld, but she refused, remembering her past as a Princess, so Maximus took it upon himself to kill Fiona. That failed however and Dragon breathed fire at Maximus, killing him for good.

And so the ogre and Fiona continued their honeymoon, became friends with the Ghost Princess and lived happily ever after.

The End.

P.S. Fiona let the Ghost Princess join her and the other princess in Shrek 3, she was just off-screen or just invisible.

P.P.S. I wrote this story coz consider some bits of the Musical canon, like Farquaad’s parents being the princess and Grumpy, but not others, like Dama Fortuna (supposedly) being banished in Shrek’s swamp).

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