“My Lady!” said the Captain of the Guards, “We’ve found it!”
“Well then what are you waiting for?” said Farquaad, “Bring it in!”
It was the Magic Mirror.
“Mirror, Mirror on the wall,” said Farquaad, “Is this not the most perfect queendom of them all?”
“Well,” The Mirror said nervously, “technically you’re not a Queen.”
Thelonious held up a hand-held Mirror and shattered it.
“Well,” The Mirror blabbered, “you’re not a Queen YET, but you can become one. All you have to do is marry a Prince. So just sit back and relax my lady, because it’s time for you to meet today’s eligible bachelors. And here they are:
Bachelor number one is a highly courageous lad from an ogre kingdom. He had battled many dragons before now. Please welcome Prince Phillip!
Bachelor number two is a blind one who has been made that way by an evil witch. Give it up for Prince Marco.
Bachelor number three is a fiery redhead, but don’t let that cool you off. He enjoys Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain: Prince Fionn.
So which would it be?”
People kept shouting out different numbers.
“3. Pick number 3 my lady,” said Thelonious.
“OK, OK,” said Farquaad, “Uh, number 3.”
“Lady Farquaad,” said the Mirror, “You’ve chosen Prince Fionn.”
Everyone clapped with joy.
I was inspired to do this fanfiction by the Duloc page which said “Ruler(s): Lord or Lady (can become King or Queen by marrying a Prince or Princess,” instead of saying “Lord (can become King by marrying a Prince).”