Before reading this, all measurements and calculations of speed are done at the end, where the walking speed of an average human is then converted to fit Shrek's proportions. If you solely want to read the statistics and not the reasoning, skip to the end where it will be separated by a line, just like this one.
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I am a fan of Shrek. I know that when Shrek said to Donkey that his farts would kill him in the first movie, he wasn't joking. I did an French project on Shrek, figuring out how many fairy tails were referenced in its movies, doing it both in English and in French for every movie release. I have also watched and played many other Shrek titles. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.
I wanted to address Shrek's insane runspeed.
To establish a quick timeline, in the second movie it is revealed that Far Far Away is roughly 700 miles from the swamp. At the beginning of Shrek Forever After, the family ride Dragon to get to Far Far Away, a 700 mile ride. After the roar, Shrek leaves the scene and begins walking towards the swamp. After making the deal with Rumple, the day is reset to 5am (details on that later) and his debacle begins.
Some people can argue, "that tourist bus could be from a closer village separate from Far Far Away but immediately next to the kingdom" but this is almost illegitimized by the fact that it is the same bus driver. I doubt that they would make the 700 mile journey like that, especially in such a short time frame; both visits near the swamp (that doesn't have to be visited anymore) and near FFA. In this instance however, this doesn't mean that Shrek has to be near his swamp since the timeline had changed so drastically. The reason why is because the bus driver could have been stationed near the swamp but gotten neutralized by the Rumple Contract event because there would no longer be a need to visit a swamp without royalty (Shrek and Fiona). We, however know that it is near the swamp because, Shrek is near FFA when he meats Rumple, they travel from morning into night, heading towards the swamp. Then he signs the paper and gets transitioned into morning where he is then at that nearby village.
After terrorizing the village long enough, Shrek travels 30 minutes towards his swamp, where he is captured and taken to Rumple. At the point where the castle is visible, we can assume that it is maybe around 8 o'clock, (This time doesn't matter too much). We need to deduce how much time had passed once he meets Rumple in person and sees his timer. At first glance, there is about 15% missing, already using 3.6 hours of his day. This is important for other time frames later on. Because Shrek has nowhere to go after his escape, he wanders through the forest, with Donkey and then they run off to go to The Dragon's Keep. It took Shrek and Donkey around 6 to 10 hours to get from the swamp to Castle Duloc and it takes 2 days of walking with no sleep to get from Castle Duloc to the dragons keep, confirmed in the first movie after saving Fiona. This raises some questions. Especially because not only does he go to the castle, but nearing mid day, he also walks back from it. Up to this point, I have have not yet gotten Shrek's average walking speed, due to the math being a little funky, so for the moment, it is being left until the end.
After the goblet is revealed again, it is then 30% depleted. At this point, 7.2 hours have passed, and since his escape, from Rumple, 3.6 hours have passed. Its important to remember that if Shrek had started at 12am it would be 7am at this point. But he started with the sun already up, making it almost mid day once he arrives at the the Dragons Keep, nearing 11am. Which means that the start of his day was at 5am. So much canonicity is put into question. We haven't even started yet. After Shrek and Donkey lost the magic broom, they ventured off to go to the Dragon's Keep. FROM FAR FAR AWAY. A 700 mile trek.
Assuming that Shrek's sun moves from east to west, the sun rises from his front door, to being behind his house as evidenced in Shrek the Halls. The moon however, moves from north to south, as evidenced in Scared Shrekless, at the starting scene and the ending scene in the castle. It took him around 6 to 10 hours to travel from his swamp to Duloc in the first movie, but during the time in Scared Shrekless, after they changed locations the moon had barely shifted positions. At it's lowest its 24 miles away from his swamp by human standards. This is barely important but if were including or referring to Shrek traveling place to place, best at least be accurate, for a good reason. From Far Far Away, Shrek wouldnt have much knowledge on how to get to Castle Duloc or The Dragons Keep. So, backtracking to his home would be an easy way to figure that out. Extending his 700 mile hike.
Did I mention? When Donkey finds the waffle in the forest, pay special attention to where he runs. If you re-watch the scene and compare it to before, when they were at The Dragon's Keep. You may notice something different. Incase you didn't notice, the sun is on the opposite end now. A lot of things aren't making sense. Once the goblet is revealed a second time, it is 30% depleted. It went from being mid-day to being just after it in this scene. Not only that, but if you pay attention to where the the camp is later on, its pretty close to Far Far Away. So, Shrek and Donkey ran from The Dragon's Keep to the camp in roughly 2 hours. But something is off. It's after the waffle scene where Rumple looks at the goblet, revealing it's at 30%. At this percent, it would be mid day. But now its past mid day, around 1pm or 2pm which doesn't add up . The time to get from place to place, in this instance, the 30% shown is only shown as a story telling scene, not taking place as it is shown. Reason being that it would take a while for news on Rumples trap to reach the camp due to their possibly indirect means of attaining it. No scenes after the waffle scene are taken into account as they don't compare to this short timeframe.
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This is where we convert
Now it's time to Shrek these Halls. Converting the human speed into ogre speed, I was able to find statistics on steps someone makes per mile. Someone who is 6'4" takes 2018 steps per mile, and that someone who is 6'5", takes 1992 steps per mile. Doing some simple calculations [(1992/2018)x(1992)] we get an answer of 1966 steps per mile, for a person who is 6'6". Repeating this calculation several times, we get Shrek's height of 7 feet, we then get his steps per mile of 1812. Using this, we can use it as a basic unit of measurement. Now, we have to isolate the time frame between Shrek's escape and when he arrives at the DK. Since it took him 3.6 hours to get there, we can find what percentage of the time was used to get to Dulac, so we can subtract it and only take the travel time from the FFA to the swamp into effect. Which in total removes 19% of the trek which is then when we remove 19% of the total time, making for 3 hours from place to place.
(700miles X 1812steps) = 1268400 steps to get from FFA to the swamp by Shrek standards.
For hours into steps conversion = (1268400 / 3 = s)
X = Walking Speed Per Hour (s X (hours)) = X
If you thought things couldn't get worse, you're dead wrong. You see, we only calculated Shrek's walkspeed. We know he walked from Dulac to The Dragon's Keep in 2 days. Doing the above equation, it takes 20,294,400 steps to get from place to place based on the time. Since we know Shrek's walking speed from Dulac to The Dragon's Keep, we can then compare it to his hours of 0.6h for his running speed, assuming he didn't take any breaks during, makes for a number of 289 steps for running speed.
20,294,400 steps is 48 hours of walking from Castle Dulac to The Dragon's Keep
(20,294,400 / 700) = m
m = 28,992
The total miles from Dulac to Dragon's Keep is 28,992 miles. Adding this with the miles from Far Far Away, we get a grand total of 29,692miles.
Now TO ADD THINGS UP. I HOPE YOU'RE SCARED SHREKLESS CUS ITS TIME TO CONVERT HIS TOTAL DISTANCE IN THIS SHORT 3.6 HOURS INTO MPH. Its time. For the hardest equation I've ever done.
(29692 / 3.6) = 8,247.7mph
Shrek can run at 8,247.7mph
I have never cared so much about math. This was done in 4 hours, I already knew all of this stuff.
Shrek MPH from FFA to Swamp to Dragon's Keep: 8,247.7 mph
Shrek's MPH from FFA to Swamp to Dulac to Dragon's Keep: 9,254.4 mph