Every year, the world goes through extreme change. Progress is inevitable, including the realm of fantasy. Horses and carriages begin to fade, slowly being replaced by a new technology known as motor vehicles. An automated carriage that can move by itself without the help of any creature. Even better, anyone can take control of them! Humans, talking animals, and other magical beings can get behind the wheel and reign supreme on the brick roads and empty trails. While an unrealized technological advancement in Far Far Away, various characters began running rampant with their newfound love of motor transportation. Animals and humans alike were drag racing and destryoing public property, catching the attention of authorities. Most, if not all of the drivers were sentenced to jail for either a few months or a whole year. This all changed once King Arthur took the throne of Far Far Away. Seeing potential in these delinquents, Arthur promised them love and attention from the citizens of the kingdom on one condition-- they put their skills to the test in a harmless tournament drag race.
While the racers were being selected, Shrek and Fiona were told of this by their closest friend Donkey. "Shrek, Fiona! Did you here? Artie's hosting a drag race over at Far Far Away! Perfect opportunities to get rich eh? I'll place my bets on the funny looking toad guy!" shouted Donkey looking through the list of contestants. "Woah, slow down Donkey! Are you sure he's willing to endorse any kind of gambling?" replied Shrek.
"Oh it's no big deal, the flyer endorses we bet our money right here!", exclaimed Donkey pointing at a note on his flyer saying "Spend your money on one of these four lucky racers! You won't regret it! (we hope not at least...)".
On that list were Mr. Toad, the Hare, the Invisible Man, and a surprising appearance by Princess Ozma. While Ozma never had any dark pasts besides her time with the witch Mombi, the other three have gained respective reputations in the criminal field. Each racer having been known for intense felonies. Mr. Toad had crashed his first automobile, and landed in jail along with losing ownership of Toad Hall. He did get his home back, but he was labeled as a delinquent soon after he was bailed by his friends Mr. Mole and Mr. Rat. Before gaining prominence in the tournament, the Hare was known for losing a race to another motor biker, the Tortoise. Since then, he trained harder and harder if he were to ever participate in such sports again. Perhaps the most mysterious of the four however, is the Invisible Man. Known by his real name, Dr. Giffin, he was a sociopathic killer who fled to Far Far Away after nearly dying in Dury Lane. Besides that instance, no one truly knows of Griffin's past leading up to the tournament.
Shady racers aside, Shrek, Donkey and Fiona were more than ready to return to the kingdom and witness the drag racing tournament. Upon arrival, a constant slew of citizens filled the streets and polluted them with loud cheers and chatter. Each racer was given their own badass introductions, driving through clear roads one by one. In the line were wonderfully constructed vehicles, ranging from steampunk designs for the Hare's pro stock motor bike to a black funny car dragster belonging to Princess Ozma. As the afternoon grew darker, the races were about to begin. Donkey was searching for a seat where he and his friends can watch the event. Excited, he was hoping up and down on his seat, and scarfing down his popcorn at an alarming rate. While not the largest fan of sports, Shrek was eager to see how the tournament would fair out. He had been following the criminal records of these racers for a while now. Knowing about these people, Shrek questioned Artie's decision to have them participate in a seemingly wholesome family event. The ogre would only grow more complexed as the first two racers parked in place for their face off.
Mr. Toad and Dr. Griffin were first to go, both driving in bronze comp dragsters. Both powered by the latest motor technology, and sporting finely made leather seating-- but the real show stealer were the large steal engines. Everyone in the audience were horrified by the look of these vehicles. Nobody in Far Far Away had seen anything this complex before, and what would soon entail in the competition would only further traumatize them. As soon as Tinkerbell waved her flag, the comp dragsters blasted an extremely loud sound. The red flames caused screams of terror and roaring applause; all being drowned out by the screeching tires and intense fire heating the road. As some of the trees caught flame, Dr. Griffin crossed the finish line victorious. Unfortunately, Mr. Toad got distracted by his loss and lost control of his vehicle, crashing head first into a vacant strip on Romeo Drive. Despite the fatal end for the amphibian, the citizens were awestruck by the sheer insanity they just witnessed. Even Shrek was caught off guard by the first race. If this is what the rest of the night held in store, Far Far Away would probably never be the same again.
As everyone was abosrbing the events, Donkey was continuously catcalling and shouting with sheer joy. He couldn't wait to see the next race unfold. Up next were Princess Ozma and the Hare, both in their respective funny car and pro stock motor bike. While not quite as scary as the previous racers, the dragsters still struck a bit of fear into the citizens. Ozma's vehicle was painted black, with bright green falmes used as a decal. Being no stranger to motorcycles, the Hare's newly modeled bike used a greater steam-powered engine-- helped made even stronger by an illegal crystal purchased from Merlin's black market. Intimidating their surroundings, the racers were ready to beat each other to the finish line. Anxious, Tinkerbell hesitantly dropped the flag causing the two to ultimatley speed through the road, leaving unprepared guests frightened to no end. Both dragsters created unnatural flames that produced supernatural shocks and waves to destroy the entire area. A mixture of green flames from Ozma's car and purple fumes from the Hare's bike caused a storm to rise above the kingdom. In utter confusion, the citizens did nothing but attmept to fathom what was going on.
Thankfully viewers were able to spot the winner, the Hare, shouting with victory as he ripped the head off of a makeshift Tortoise voodoo dummy. Ozma more or less accepted her failures, showing good sportsmanship to the Hare. The two shook hands and waved at the rather traumatized audience. Another loud roar of applause arose nonetheless, as they were getting ready to see the final race. Finalists Dr. Griffin and the Hare were prepared to finally face against each other in one last match. Cheering, the citizens catcalled and raved for the two, now placing bets, to which Donkey betted with over 70 shillings on the Hare. Shrek tried to stop him, but was unsuccessful due to the loud noises drowning his speech. Keeping their eyes on the road ahead, the contestants placed their feet carefully on the right pedals and their hands where they can properly steer. Tinkerbell waved her flag a final time, and the two went off in a flash. The purple fumes and red fire only caused a chain reaction from the clouds above, now summoning a greater evil to infiltrate the race.
Although before this evil could do anything, Dr. Griffin came out on top at the finish line. The Hare was furious, kicking his bike and stomping on his hat. Donkey realized he lost his bet, and cried his eyes out.
"Don't worry Donkey, we all make stupid decisions at some point." said Shrek.
Sadly Donkey couldn't here him with the loud noises drowning out Shrek's speech yet again. While Griffin was celebrating, the evil finally revealed itself. Lord Farquaad's ghost emerged from the electric smoke, laughing like mad.
"Which one of you is the ogre?" asked Farquaad.
Shrek rolled his eyes and stepped forward to face him.
"I thought we layed you to rest for good." said Shrek annoyingly.
"You did, but thanks to these newfound engines I can rise again! Now then, what did I come here for? Oh yes! I want you to face me in a duel. Winner gets to stay in this realm, and gains whatever kingdom this is. Loser goes back to the underworld!"
While everyone was shocked, Shrek, Donkey and Fiona both knew this was gonna end with them winning.
"Oookkayy Farquaad. I'll fight ya." said Shrek.
"Excellent! But we're going to fight in one of those things." replied Faruqaad.
Realizing what Farquaad wanted, Shrek opts to quickly construct a makeshift barrel dragster. However before he could, Ozma offers him her funny car to save the trouble. Farquaad on the other hand summoned what resembeled a hearse with over sized engines and an "F" flag on the sides. Getting into their vehicles, both racers were waiting for Tinkerbell's signal, to which she immediately waved the flag. The strange hearse dragster sparked blue flames, which was combated by Shrek driving Ozma's funny car. Green flames began to clash Farquaad's fire, which only caused another portal to open up in the clouds. Whoever would cross the finish line first is going to be safe, while the loser gets sucked into the underworld. Sweat was racing down Shrek's neck and fingers, with Farquaad laughing his whole way through the road. It wouldn't last long, as Shrek crossed the finish line, with a large crowd of people applauding his victory.
Before crossing, Farquaad was teleported back to his ghastly home, with his car crashing into Romeo Drive. No one seemed to notice, as the citizens of Far Far Away along with the other racers cheered for Shrek. Placing him on a throne and giving him a giant golden grail. Moments later, Shrek returned home with Fiona, placing the grail on a shelf with other prized possessions from his previous adventures. The next day, Shrek invited his friends Puss in Boots and Alice to hear about his latest journey. Amazing the two, he went into great detail about the intense smoke and giant flames that almost destroyed Far Far Away. Although both friends were bummed they couldn't witness it themselves, they were fortunate to have saved the trouble of possibly getting killed during the event.